What Happens When Novices Buy Chickens....

As was posted before, I bought three chickens in hopes of fresh eggs. Ha Ha. What I got was two roosters and a hen. Not conducive to anything but hen abuse. Chocobo was promptly relocated to a friend's farm where he now resides with many other chickens and has a new girlfriend, whom I'm told he visits every day............across the street. I guess long distance relationships aren't a problem for roosters. Maybe they could give the males in our species some pointers. (Cheap shot, I know.) So now we have Huevo and Poachie left to terrorize everyone and make no mistake about it - they do. Huevo merely sees a person and drops his wing and starts sidestepping - this apparently being code in chicken for," Look alive human.....I'm getting ready to beat you like a drum." Even hens are kind of ornery. One day I was walking through the yard and felt something hit my leg - not terribly painful, but definitely with a little force. I looked down and there was my sweet little Poachie - attacking my leg! What gives? My sweet little chickens have left only to be replaced by freaky feathered terrorists!

Living the dream..........?

Well not exactly. For years I've enjoyed baking bread - not only for great bread but for therapy. Sadly, it went from being therapy to torture when for some reason my bread-baking mojo left the building. Now - I can't even fix a decent pizza. What's going on here? When I was visiting my parents recently my mother came up with the answer. In an attempt to help me with my weight problem, i.e. excessive consumption of carbs, God has taken away my bread-baking mojo. Not her words exactly but that's the gist of the discussion. Who knew? Seriously - I couldn't bake a bread dough ornament -it's that bad! So, I have completely let go of the bread ideal - no more wonderful smells emanating from the kitchen: no more fresh-baked bread; and maybe worse - just one more little piece of my identity chipped out and fallen by the wayside. That's a bummer. First, it was running and now this. What's next - are they gonna take beer off the market?