Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Twister for President!

Hi...yeah, it's me ...Twister.Y'know, I've been noticing that there are very few women high up in politics, relatively speaking, and absolutely no goats at all. What is up with that? Don't people know how smart we really are? Hell, I make that Palin woman look like a stupid cow - and you know how dumb cows are! And you know I am the queen of my herd. I run that whole show. I mean, you don't really think a man can effectively govern a herd of free-thinking goats, do ya? Yeah- it's all me! You think I'd take any shit off those cave -dwelling "Talibastards"? Hell no! I'd give'em one of my sharp horns where the sun don't shine! Now that's what I'm talkin about! So - Twister for President! Do the right thing for our country - you know what to do!

Friday, September 26, 2008

It's Lily BeDilly!!!!!

I told you I would post a picture or two of her. Is she a doll or what? Trixie apparently thinks so.

I Have Blue Eyes.....

and you should just see them up close. Ice blue. Her eyes may look cold, but Vincent Van Goat thinks she looks pretty hot!!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Move Outta Da Way!

Originally uploaded by lr4rr

She didn't want me to take her picture, but I got a good picture in spite of her attempts to swat me away. I look at this picture and it personifies one of the things I think about most when I look at her. She is a solid, whole body inside her clothes. This probably sounds strange, but if you think back to when you were a child you might remember feeling solid, whole and more or less indestructible. I remember. I also remember when that feeling starting going away. I still remember that feeling today and it still doesn't feel good, so I hope and pray that my children never feel that way. So what do I teach? "Start out the way you mean to go on." To do that you have to keep what you need, get rid of what you don't and have the sense to know the difference. Keep yourself - don't give that away to be something or someone else. Keep gifts, especially from your family - that gift is a tangible link between you and that person. And don't get rid of something good to make room for junk. I can look back over my 44 years and see so many instances where I screwed up on every one of those counts - those are things I can't forget. So..........I'm lucky because I have been blessed with wonderful children and a wonderful family in spite of my ineptitude in knowing the difference. I know that much.

Long Time No Post........

I've been busy - crazy busy - not necessarily the good kind of busy. I keep wondering if the "dust" will ever settle. You know how someone will say to you when you're in the midst of some big deal, " Hey - when the dust settles, how about getting back to me about that blah, blah, blah."Well, I've reached the conclusion that whoever started that little gem ought to have their ass drummed out of the "Seemingly Useful Saying Society" for making up a bogus saying. Not just bogus either - it's a damn lie!! The dust is never going to settle!! Am I the last person to realize this? Have I just revealed what a moron I am because everyone else realized this a long time ago and already kicked that jackass to the curb?
Anyway.....ahem. So we've started another year of homeschooling and it's my first time with Kindergarten. Awesome! I almost wish I was in Kindergarten again. We're having a lot of fun and I cannot say enough good things about Dolores G. Hiske's Phonics Pathways. I started reading this book to see what was what before we actually started using it, and I was so excited about it because as I read, I could just "hear" Rachel learning to read !! It certainly doesn't hurt that she likes the book - particularly the little mascot Dewey. She is starting to read other books and not just "There's a Wocket in My Pocket, which she memorized. The mission is being accomplished and if you're teaching your child to read, then this book is a must!
Ah yes.......The Van Goats. Well, what can I say. They have destroyed an electric fence - twice. One Mr. Vincent Van Goat has put paid to the other fence, thusly demonstrated in full living color when I got home Friday evening and found all of The Van Goats dining al fresco in the neighbor's overgrown lot. (You know they don't give a shit - can you say, "free labor"?) So, I went fence shopping at one of my favorite places - Tractor Supply. (I just LOVE those John Deer t-shirts!) We now have the real deal here people; industrial strength welded wire. Now that's what I'm talkin about!
And I can't believe I've been such a loser that I haven't even introduced you guys to Lily - the most recent (and the last) adoptee . She is a little bit different from the other Van Goats. For one thing, it would take at least 2 of her to make one Vanessa - tiny she is. And for another, she is part Pygmy and part Nigerian, and her parents are registered in their respective breeds. Last but not least, she has the ever beautiful and much coveted.......blue eyes!! She was given to me by my wonderful friends Mandy and Shannon Cantrell of Green Acres Goat Farm fame and I haven't been able to calm down since! You know, not just anybody will give you their first born. Okay - so she wasn't their first -born because I don't think she was born on their farm, but she was the first goat they got and they were deeply attached. Now those are true friends. Of course, it didn't hurt my cause that Lilly Bell had a baby of her own, decided that it was her turn to be the "Queen" and employed bullying tactics that made even the wildest bucks blanch all the way down to their ... uh.... hooves. . That didn't go over too well with the other does so it was decided that Lily -the-Head -Butter might be better off with some goats, er.......... well let's just say goats of a more exuberant nature. She's fitting in just fine.
Since I don't have a good picture of the little missy on my camera yet (long stupid story), I will send you over to the Green Acres website so you can see how adorably precious she is. Click right back there - did you see it?!?! She is in the 9th picture from the top of the page, in a picture of four goats and she is the 2nd from the left. Would it not have been easier for me to leave work, go home , take the picture and come back? Allow me to refer you to the first part of this post - the part with the word moron in it!!! What can I say? I've never done anything the easy way. But fence issues notwithstanding (that's almost a funny-as-hell pun! Fence Not Withstanding - Fence Not Standing! Get It? Shit - that is frickin hilarious!!!!) Uh...what was I saying? Oh yeah, The Van Goats are great, they are healthy and they are, as always, balm to my exhausted heart and mind. Sniffle.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

I love my job

From one thing to the other......

It just might be a goat's life, but as I am always quick to point out - goats have it going on. I'm gonna have to say, they've got me beat hands down on matters of parenting. Their kids are respectful, they know who's boss and they damn sure don't argue or back-talk. They all know how to think and figure things out for themselves. I wish I had been as industrious with my own kids. My son argues with me from sun-up(or son-up -which ever happens first) to sun-down and all I can say is that barbed wire is taking over all the brown hair on my head. Talk about adding insult to injury. Sometimes I feel like a serious failure - not a total failure - there's a difference here. Serious is this: Driving my son(18) and my nephew(22) to their respective jobs today and my son asks
" Have you ever had one of those dreams where you fell and woke up before you hit bottom?"
" Well sure," says I.
" Well so and so says that he had a friend who dreamed he was falling and didn't wake up before he hit bottom and died in his sleep."
(Okay - what the fuck is wrong with this picture? I completely lost it!. )
" What the hell? How could your jack-ass friend (this particular friend is, in about every way possible, a jack-ass) possibly know what that kid was dreaming if he died in his sleep. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and ALL THE SAINTS!!!!!"
" Well, maybe his parents told him."
"Are you fucking kidding me? Do you not see that this is not possible?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
Anheuser Busch can not brew enough Budlight to keep me calm these days. I take my Effexor XR pill every morning and my brain laughs and says, " Is that all you got? Get big or go home, you SISSY!" Where did I go wrong? Yes, my son is somewhat different - he has Asperger Syndrome - but he is highly intelligent and mostly a joy to me and those around him. BUT - when he is being a TEENAGER with Asperger Syndrome - well all I can say is "Lord help us all". And you know I'm a heathen - I only go to church about 4 times a year and I'm so sorry and lowdown that I don't even go on the holidays like most heathens. You know, everybody goes on Easter, at least. Not me.
And this little scenario is the kind of thing that goes on every single day, just different subjects and different venues. Bless his heart, he has no discernment at all when it comes to people - everyone is absolutely innocent until proven guilty at least - at the very least - a minimum of 5 times! His so-called friends shit all over him because they can. Would it kill one of those little trout-sniffers to be the one for once, that picks up the phone and calls him instead of him calling them? He lost one kid's phone number and almost drove me crazy angsting over it until he ran into the kid one day at the movie theater. Know what the kid said? "Wow, I wondered why I hadn't heard from you."
Well, you didn't wonder enough to pick up the phone and call him, did you asshole!
So my son makes excuses for him and says he's really busy because he goes to high school and college. Well, he has time to go to the movies doesn't he? I guess I probably shouldn't be angry at people for being human, should I?

Anyway, if you're interested in Asperger Syndrome, this is the website to end all websites. The one that got me through the early days after the diagnosis - O.A.S.I.S
There are many websites, but this one is incredible, put together by a mom who has been through it all and written the book. Barb Kirby - you're awesome!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

I'm no Sally Field

Well, it's certainly been a long time since I posted anything from the ranch- not for lack of goings on, that's for sure. I may or may not have announced that I no longer have a computer - nope - not even a measly little laptop, so it's hard to even check my email these days. I logged on today and had 431 emails. eep. In those 431 emails I found a comment on the blog that sort of made my day and sort of made me feel like a dirtbag all at the same time! I had no idea I would ever be missed!!!! I mean - WOW! I'm about to have a Sally Field moment here!(About to being the operative phrase here.)
So..........having said that, I am really going to try my darndest (see, I'm even trying to clean up my potty mouth.) to get back and post at least a couple of times a week. To the person who made my day - you know who you are - thank you for jolting me out of my pity party! I wouldn't count on that potty mouth thing really going the distance though.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Is This Year Really New?

I'm pretty sure I've had this year before....pretty sure and I wasn't really fond of it that time either. I haven't posted since December first - how big of a loser can I be? There's been a lot going on in my life and it hasn't been the greatest. Basically I've been in denial about how deeply and truly I've messed up my life. I think I'm back in realty now though and I finally sat down today and started trying to fix, uh.......you know......things.
So.....the kids are great, the goats are great, the parents and all the rest of the family are great! Apparently, I'm the only fuck-up in this family. Oh well.......somebody's got to do it.