Drastic times call for drastic measures. I have a point, a reason for saying that....I just can't get to it yet. I recently reached the culmination of several years efforts in trying to commit suicide by gluttony. No...I didn't actually try to commit suicide, but considering the fact that I'm not an uneducated person and I had to know the damage I was doing to myself by repeatedly overeating, anyone could be excused for thinking that. I haven't been to the doctor for said problem - no, nay - I have diagnosed myself. One bitchin, screamingly unhappy, hiatal hernia. I am fairly certain. One morning, a few weeks ago when I woke up sick as hell and throwing up, I realized that while it would probably be a good idea to go to the doctor, major lifestyle changes would be necessary no matter what. So......enter drastic measures. I've quit alcohol, caffeine (except for the very healthy yerba mate) fast foods, fried foods and overeating. I guess major sickness is a potent distraction from feeling deprived - I've missed none of that stuff. My problem now is that I'm getting hungry a LOT. It is difficult to eat a tennis ball sized serving when I'm hungry enough to eat the legs off the table. I have had frequent small meals, but for the first time since the vomitathon I've really had trouble restraining myself. I guess the honeymoon is over.
This all sometimes leads me to wonder how those people who make a living overeating in those contests are gonna fare a few years down the road. I see other people overeating and I just want to tell them that there is nothing they could possibly eat that is worth someday feeling like I felt that morning. Overeating is such a bad problem to have. There are lot of people who think that overeating is just a sign that a person is weak or a pig. It's an addiction just like drugs, alcohol or cigarettes with consequences that can be just as severe as any other addiction. It requires major self-discipline like any other addiction. I hope someday soon, I'll be able to look back on this as a bad time in my life and I would like to look back from a healthy body in size 14 jeans. But for now, I'm just happy God is giving me the strength to put down the fork and push back from the table.