Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Doctor Is In

I have to it time to just call it a day on the blog? I feel like I have nothing to say anymore. I go to work, take care of my family and and do all your other average stuff. Nothing remarkable. The Van Goats are always amazing, but probably only to me. So......I feel as though I have reach an impasse. Is that the right word? Whatever.
Okay, well here's something. I'm 45 years old - 46 in a couple of months. In the last few months, I've gotten into mental health discussions with people (you know the kind where women talk about what drugs they're on to improve the sanity/insanity ratio. ) Two different people in two different discussions told me " Oh are totally ADD! Can spot that from a mile away!" Well HELLO! Was anybody gonna tell me before they were throwing clumps of dirt of top of me? Damn! Help a sister here! I got to thinking about this and reached the conclusion that maybe there's something to that. It would explain a lot of things about me and heaven knows some thing's got to! One of these people actually said, " I cannot believe you didn't know this!" What! Am I a psychiatrist now? I'm wondering if there is actually a way to salvage the remainder of my years...however many there are. I mean, this could be pretty big! When the Van Goats came along, they changed my life. They love me unconditionally - as long as they're fed on time - and they expect very little in return. They're entertaining, affectionate and they're pretty good workers too - they totally keep the backyard in shape and fertilized. They don't treat me like I'm the stupidest being on the face of the earth, they don't insist on telling me their every thought, and they're not always saying " Well you're mean, I want to spend the night with Daddy!" (Bout over that.) Still, it's hard to completely base your feeling of self worth on positive reinforcement from goats. Reaching the age of 45 and looking back and only seeing a lifetime of not following through and not finishing - a's not really a good feeling. Always having the best of intentions.....well you know where those intentions get you. And you don't even have to wait til you die to get there.
Anyway, I'm thinking that maybe even now, I could feel better and it would probably be great. And if nothing comes of this theory, well at least the Van Goats don't charge for therapy.

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